This Road is All You'll Ever Have
by Griever11
Summary: 'Oh, her sweet, sweet husband. The man's still bleeding from the angry gash at his neck, he's just made his first kill – and he's trying to comfort her' - Episode insert for 7x23, one shot.


_Same deal as before, this was on Tumblr a while ago so if this is familiar, that's why. I just didn't get around to thinking of a title for this fic and uploading it here._

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Beckett knows she's in trouble the moment they step into the precinct. She had a feeling Gates' hadn't been too pleased to hear about what had transpired at the barn, and one look at her Captains face when they arrive in the bullpen confirms her suspicions. Gates barks her name out from across the room and Beckett sighs, prepares herself to face the music.

"You'll be fine, Kate. You didn't do anything wrong. I trespassed, you saved my life. She'll understand."

Oh, her sweet, sweet husband. The man's still bleeding from the angry gash at his neck, he's just made his first kill – and he's trying to comfort _her_?

"Don't worry about me, babe. I've weathered worse. Just get that cleaned up and wait for me in the break room, okay?" she doesn't want him out in the bullpen, doesn't want him sitting around in full view of the other detectives in the room. It's stupid, she knows, but she's a little protective of him at the moment. She sees the little boy that he's trying to hide, the kid who'd been scarred at such an early age, who'd just literally killed the boogeyman who's been chasing him through his nightmares for years.

Castle nods in silence and leans over to feather a kiss on her cheek before retreating to the break room. She squares her shoulders, shakes herself free of the worry and steels herself for the berating she knows she's about to receive.

She's right, of course. Gates gives her an earful about being reckless (again), bringing her civilian partner into a dangerous situation without proper backup (again), not notifying her about their whereabouts (again), and ' _haven't you learned from the time with the tiger, Detective_?' She's been on the receiving end of so many other similar speeches that she can practically recite Gates' entire tirade if she tried hard enough.

She stands stock still, lets Gates chew her out because she knows she deserves a little of it. She thinks about what she'd told the suits at One PP the day before, about putting herself on the line for what's right, to do her goddamn _job_ , and really this isn't so different. What she did, or rather, what she allowed Castle to do enabled them to get the guy - so what if he's dead? It was a kill or be killed situation and she's not going to regret that her husband was the one who came out of that situation alive. She'll be able to plead her case to Gates later, explain herself and her motivations and hopefully with all the evidence before her, Gates will let her off lightly this time.

Eventually Gates lets her go, once she's made Beckett promise to submit a full report and the paperwork for discharging her weapon at the barn. She tells Beckett that her punishment is coming but the twinkle in her eye, and the barest hint of a smile on her face makes Beckett wonder if the entire scene was merely for show.

She doesn't spend too much time wondering about it, not when her main concern is sitting alone in the precinct's break room, staring forlornly into a mug of coffee. She walks over to him, running her fingers through his hair as she approaches. He turns to her, subdued, looking up at her with eyes marred with wariness.

"Everything okay?" he asks, setting aside the mug and gesturing for her to sit next to him on the couch.

Beckett purses her lips and shrugs, settling in beside him. "Nothing unexpected. How are you holding up?"

It's his turn to shrug now, and it's all she can do not to pull him into a tight hug and kiss his pain away. She's not sure what to say, he's the wordsmith in their relationship. She's usually more open to showing him how much she cares, she wants to kiss him and cuddle with him until the sun comes up, whisper into his ear about how amazing he is. She tugs him closer, notices that he lists towards her without hesitation, their bodies meshing together on the narrow space of the couch. She takes both his hands between hers.

"Castle you killed someone today, and that's big. And I know you do this on paper all the time, but actually taking someone's life … if you need to talk about it, I'm right here, okay?"

"Should I feel bad about it? Because I don't, Kate. What kind of person does that make me? I shot him six times, and I feel – I'm glad he's dead."

Beckett struggles to find something to say to him, she wants him to know she doesn't think any less of him for what he did that day. She's proud of him. She's not a stranger to all of this, but he is. Her amazing, kind hearted husband took a life today and she doesn't know how to comfort him.

She does know someone who can help though.

She stands up, pulling them both their feet. She runs a finger gently along the wound that he's cleaned up while she'd been in Gates' office and sighs. "We can make an appointment with Doctor Burke if you want, he can help with the talking."

"Okay, yeah. Okay let's do that," he says, his voice a little raw to her ears.

"You're a good man, Castle. Don't let this experience make you forget that. I love you for who you are, and this doesn't change any of that, okay?"

He nods and she pulls him into a hug, wraps her arms around his neck and falls into his embrace. He's warm and inviting, despite his mood and she finds comfort in his scent. She could have lost him today. She presses herself a little closer to him, melding them together, until he pulls gently away.

"So, let's just … table this for now and go home. Paperwork can wait, but we're both going to have to hustle if we want to look pretty for your shindig tonight."

Castle smiles at that, as if he's forgotten about the award he's about to receive. It's cheered him up a little bit and she can see the some of the somberness melt away, replaced with genuine delight. "But you're always pretty, Kate."

Beckett scoffs at him, he's such a flirt – and takes his hand, pulling him out the break room and into the bullpen. They grab her things as they walk past her desk and as they wait for the elevators arrive, she winks at him salaciously.

"If we're quick enough, I might give you a preview of what I'm wearing under my dress tonight."

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Twitter: estheryam

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